My first day on the job Unicorn dabbing kindergarten nailed it shirt. I sent him to the bathroom naively thinking he would sort it out. But he bleated repeatedly for help and it soon dawned on me I’d have to change his pants. So I dragged myself to his cubicle in the loo, heaving, pulled off his terrible trousers and threw them in a plastic bag. As I hosed him down, helped him wear his spare set of clothes and disinfected everything, I made a fatal error. I mistakenly mentioned that if he did that again he could probably go home because of his upset tummy. Five minutes after settling back in class and he jumps up on his desk, joyful and triumphant, fists beating the air in victory, “Miss Georgie! Miss Georgie! I just pooed my pants again. Do you have my mom on speed daily? I’m going home!
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